I was on the couch with a big dose of Mr. Walker’s famous tranquilizer when she came out. ‘They’re asleep now. Little Doug’s been trying so hard to look after everyone, and he’s scared to death, and Lizzie’s been hurt badly: she’ll hardly say two words without checking to see if she’s going to be smacked.’ I wasn’t listening to the last bit. ‘You tellin’ me the kid’s called Doug?’ She stared at me. ‘Didn’t you know?’ Course not, dummy, or I wouldn’t be asking. ‘Shit, girl, I didn’t even know she had kids, tell the truth, and now I discover one’s got my goddam name. Jeez, what a day. You reckon she’ll be able to function tomorrow?’ If ol’ Ray was gonna come looking I needed to know. Kirsty was sitting opposite, watching me, I could almost hear her brain turning over. ‘You haven’t seen her for years but she named her son after you, and you’ve spent a lot of money and haven’t said anything except that she’s had a bad time.’ Course I haven’t said anything. You think I want this shit. “Boy Scouts told me to be prepared,” I said to everyone’s shock and Roxy’s giggles.Dad even said, “Prepared means more than just that, son,” so I got out my wallet and showed off my brand-new Trojan Condom.That caused mom to cover her mouth in despair as Roxy said, “I like the blue ones with vertical ridges, Georgie-poo! Besides that, I am on the pill!”“Exactly where were you all day?” Mom asked looking unsure of wanting the answer.We gave most of the details adding that we checked out some on and off campus housing, a white lie. (The best kind!)Dad was very impressed that I got to be watched by the KSU Coach - Mom seemed skeptical.“Which Residence Hall have you selected?”“Austin Residential Hall! Do you guys need to see it, since you are paying for it?” My smart girl responded.“Does the room you like have one bed or two?”“We had our choice, but your perfect son insisted on separate beds,” Roxanne said with perfect calmness in her voice.Of course, I chimed in not having seen the room,.
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